Starlit Field Beyond the Flames

Thursday, May 07, 2009

It was my first and my last Concert Band SYF competition.
No I'm not a first-timer to SYF. I went for the Millitary Band SYF competition with my YI band before.
I was freaking nervous when it was not even 24 hours before the performance time.
I ALWAYS feel super nervous before any competitions, performances, or sporting events.
But they don't affect me much. I was damn nervous when the band was performing infront of our Vice Principal on the SYF day and I didn't screw up at all.
Nothing much happened before boarding the bus to RP where SYF 2009 Central Judging for Symphonic Bands was held. Everyone was either eating bananas, chocolates, chatting, or was re-confirming their parts/score/instruments etc. Oh one thing happened. Someone (I really don't know who) kinda bent my reed. My favourite reed. Luckily I had 3 other spares...
Some of my friends messaged me wishing us good luck. Was really touched seriously because the school didn't even make an announcement about us going for SYF and yet they still remembered.
So at around 11:45am or something, we left for RP.

When we got there, I saw 2 familiar faces: Hazmi and Latiff. They came down to watch other bands perform and to support us I guess. Thanks a kazillion to them for the support.
I thought our band could sit around for a while before going into the Tuning room. We waited outside for only 10 minutes before the dude told us we had to go in.
Everyone was pretty tense/concentrated inside the tuning room. Including me. I was freaking nervous. After doing all the tuning our conductor, Mr. Wilson Ong, told us not to feel nervous. He told the band to scream at the top of our lungs to get pumped up. After that monstrous shout I let out, I felt better. Felt the adrenaline getting pumped into my body.

A few seconds after that, we were already backstage lining up in our concert rows. I tried not to feel nervous and just concentrated on playing the 2 pieces we were playing.
We stood at the backstage for about 5 mintes before we were allowed to go in.
I stared at the judges (With my awesome killer stare) when I stepped foot on the stage. I saw other bands watching as well. First thing I thought of was the Hwa Chong exchange and how I wanted our SYF to be like a revenge time for us.
Then the emcee announced our band and Mr. Ong walked in to start us off.

I don't really want to go into details about how we played. I'm in no position to judge our band anyways. I just want to confess that I did make a few mistakes here and there for both songs... I'm not proud of it, thats why its a confession... I was super upset when I made those mistakes that I wanted (And still wants) to kill myself...
I think mistakes that NEVER happened before and those that we thought would NEVER happen, happened during SYF.

After the performance, we asked our friends who were the audience about our performance. Everyone said we sounded okay and that we can get a Silver. Kinda got my hopes up.
I didn't really think of the result until the very last minute thanks to Xian Hua and the scissors, paper, stone game. I really really thought we could at least clench a Silver. Why? The opening when we played Finale (Our choice piece) was super grand. The ending was not bad as well with all the dynamic changes and accelerandos.

When the dude announced our results, I just couldn't believe what I heard.
"Band number 7, Millennia Institute: Bronze". I swear this will remain with me for the rest of my life... Its made a scar deep in my heart that it made it to my top-5 scar list (Ouch moments).
I just sat there, trying to control myself. I heard lots of *sniffs* all around me from where my fellow band-mates were seated...
I was feeling sad, disappointed, and angry at the same time...
Sad because it felt as if all the hard work we put in went to a waste... Disappointed because we didn't meet our target of getting a Gold award which, I still believe that we're capable of achieving... Angry at myself because I know I could have performed kazillion times better...

I think after hearing the results, I was like a walking time bomb. I tried to smile but the smile just faded after 0.5 seconds. Didn't feel like talking to anyone. My fists were clenched and all (But I was angry at myself).
Others would say we did fairly okay for a starting band that never took part in SYF before. I disagree.
I still don't think we deserve this kind of result. If they grade us based on the effort put in, we're definately a Gold with honours band.
I'm okay now but the scar will always be there to depress me I guess...

This kinda made me realise how important my band mates are to me and how much I love them (Yeah call me gay or what I don't care).

I really hope the other band members recover quickly too so that we can put up an awesome performance for the teachers of MI and the GoH during the MIOO and proove that we can do it.
So come on guys, lets put ourselves together and surprise the whole school during MIOO!!

Love is the best remedy. So always remember our teachers in charge: Mr. Zachery Lim and Ms. Huang Shijin, and our conductors: Mr. Wilson Ong and Mr. Lim Lip Hua loves us all.
And I love you all too. Feel the Korean love and cheer up yeah guys?

SHUT UP.
5:24 PM