Not my day these few days. I might be laughing and smiling in school but my mind is usually elsewhere. I guess my fake smile seem so sincere because no body can recognize the dagger stabbed deeply in me. I smile to make my friends feel happy around me actually. Only a few people actually know what happened. Will's word of comfort and advice was awesome... It was the best I've ever received. My good buddy Will became a cool, wise guy. Siva and Shane were awesome too. The duo never fail to cheer me up. Siva, being the more experienced one, had more to say haha. Last year, I was the one giving advice to him, but that all changed after he got together with his sweet heart. As for Shane, not really a word of comfort but made me laugh with his lame jokes haha. As for John, Haikal, Kamal, and Iszaki, I don't think they know. Shao Wei, as usual, was the one to talk me out of it. His reaction was the same when I told him about old times, when I used to like Chie and how she got together with her guy. He goes like "Oh, shit/fuck, that sucks dude!" Haha! They're awesome people... My brothers of 07S7... Can't do anything in school without them. Hope everyone makes it to next year... I won't be able to stand another close friend/brother leaving the class... Like how I saw Tina leave last year...
I still can't forget the SMSes. I try to remember only the happy memories. But that message gets in the way. She thought about what I said for quite a long time before she came up with her decision, which means she thought it through like carefully and made up her mind. Now I'm doing the same thing with what she said... Usually when the girl I like say those things to me, I just give up on going after the person straight away... Strangely, I can't seem to do that with her...
I didn't care what kind of person she was actually. I sure will like her just the way she is. I will change to be the type of guy she wants. And we can find out more about each other on the way. Like how Siva and most of my friends did... Maybe it was something I lacked?... Only she knows. But I thought of her words over and over too... And I won't... I can't...
Sigh, anyways, photo taking tomorrow... I'm gonna make my rhino/unicorn/astro boy/jimmy neutron/horny/tip of the ice berg hair style tomorrow (The hair style I used to do when I was in SAS). The weird names to describe my hair were all given by my friends -.-
P.S. Forgive my poor English if there are any. I was typing super fast...
I think I'm in love again... With her... But those words she said to me pierced my heart. That night I couldn't sleep properly. The day after she said those words was so not my day either. I couldn't and can't remember 90% of the things people said to me that day... I kept thinking to myself that she needs time and I have to be patient... I once heard a lecture saying love is patient, love is kind. I think I get what it means now... I'm gonna wait for her... Hopefully she will have faith in love again... And of course I hope to be the guy she turns to... I will wait...
Had a chance to talk to her today... But my friends were around and old habits came back... I was freaking nervous when I saw her (Old habits). More like nervous, sad and happy at the same time when I saw her. It was a confusing feeling... If my friends weren't there I would have been Mr. Emo through out the entire day... They were the source for my laughter today.
Went out yesterday for Rock Climbing. It was a project work thing set up by her group. Meeting time for me was actually 10:30am but I went there at around 9:50am. Didn't want her waiting thats why... Thought she was alone but it turned out that lots of her/my friends were already there. Met new friends there like Hanis, and Din. They were there earlier because they were the belayers for the group and had to be briefed in advance to "not waste time" I guess. The place looked like some abandoned warehouse but the rock climbing place was pretty nice. Was a little small though. They should expand it. Anyways, the early birds got to try the wall first. I tried one of the hardest walls to climb. Managed to get up 3/4 the wall but couldn't find any more "rocks" to grab on to -_-. Everyone had trouble on that wall and I think I'm the only one who went up that high! Soon, the rest of the "participants" for the rock climbing came and we were all assigned to our groups to climb the wall. I was in the same group as her! My buddy Kamal, Sok Theng, and Michelle were also in my group. First up was the normal rock climbing. The wall our group was assigned to was way easier than the rock I climbed before so I had no problem with climbing all the way to the top. Soks was the belayer (surprisingly!). I guess I weighed as light as her -.- Blame it on my super high metabolism rate!! I start sweating in aircon-ed rooms -_-... Next up was the rock climbing blindfolded... Was damn frustrating because I couldn't decide for myself where to go. Kamal's directions were good though. Its just when I got up half way, there were no more rock things I could reach for... When the last one came, I was already freaking tired. But I still had to climb twice to get the puzzle... The last puzzle piece, I really couldn't climb anymore so I changed with Kamal haha XD. Kamal is damn good at climbing too XD. So is Hanis and Kenny.
And so that was the end of the rock climbing session. She didn't really get to climb much because she was so busy... After the rock climbing was late lunch. Had Korean food as usual haha and I treated her again =). We had to rush down to West Coast for our obstacle games. The first few games were good, like tug of war, and dog and bone... It was all fun until I saw her cry... Some bitch made her upset... Shall not say anymore because it'll be vulgar all the way. I felt seriously sad after that... When everyone went out to the play ground to play, I just stayed near by, waiting for the teacher to finish talking to her group members. I was glad she had such wonderful friends like Hanis, Maisha, Aishah M, and her clique. I searched for words of comfort but I guess I was too shocked and sad that time... My brain's freaking useless at times... Kamal accompanied me all the way, talking to me and cheering me up =). Thanks Kamal! Really appreciate it bro!! Maisha also joined us and we just started to talk. Then the rain came and I just had to go over to the tent area where her group was to help and provide shelter from the rain. Especially her. I'll carry 2 umbrellas next time -_-... Felt so sorry for those who weren't under the umbrella... Anyways, I wanted to send her home really badly... But my parents were literally screaming at me...... Was really sad seeing her go off... I would have beaten myself up if she was all alone... At least Maisha was with her through out the 506 journey... I really gotta get myself a driver's licence and a freaking car or a motobike so I can driver her home next time... Next time, I hope I can be the one to comfort her... Sorry... I sent her a message though and she called me at 11:30pm haha. I guess I fell asleep waiting for the reply because the phone was in my hand hah =D. Really hope she won't be sad ever again...
Anyways, about the PW part, I'll write it some other time... For now, I'll just say that PW fucking sucks! I'm so hating it!!
She's angry because of this moron in our school. Shall not say any names here. She already has a fever and he's making her even angrier... I couldn't tell the guy to get lost (Shall not say bad words) either cuz I don't even know him. I only know his name and how he looks like... Felt so useless -_-... I couldn't like back her up... So sad T_T... Anyways, the guy eventually went offline... Its always best to ignore those *ehem* "total jerks" (Not saying bad words) right? The only way to solve the problem with those kind of people is usually to ignore them... Thats what I do anyways... I haven't been able to go out with her these days... Maybe after this Saturday she won't be too busy? Hope you're not! =) Hope she gets well soon!...
It never goes well for me... In my life, there is no such thing as a happy ending. Its always just when I think things are starting to work out... Maybe some of you know what I'm talking about. I wish none of this had happened... I don't feel like talking about it now... I'm just too tired of all this. I just hope she gives me a chance... I guess pain is all I get from love... Fuck shit. Okay I'm getting angry at myself now, so tata... "I hate myself"
You Don't Mess with the Zohan. Watched it right after the Biology Mid Year paper with my classmates, Gracie, Gerlaine, Apple, Claudia and Saw Wah. The movie was okay in my opinion but I'm sure the girls didn't really like it. Its sexual humour so yeah... Go watch if you want to see Adam Sandler having sex with old women haha. Went around shopping at somewhere (I forgot...). Yeah... I give 4 out of 5 stars for the movie.
Haven't been able to meet Tae Hyung e hyung and Sae Hyung recently either... I was always the busy one I guess... Due to late night band practices... Those night practices are all over now. Cuz NBC is over... Yesterday was the big day. Everyone was so prepared. The only ones nervous were Mr. Lim Lip Hua (Our conductor), and our teachers... I could tell cuz Mr. Lim was shaking when he lifted his baton up... Mr. Zach Lim and Ms. Huang, our teachers in charge, were also acting kinda different too... All this changed right after we finished performing... We were the first band to perform so it was quiet when we walked out of the Victoria Concert Hall... Some of the band members cried even before the results because they made a mistake during the performance. Its actually okay, everyone makes mistakes and nobody's perfect. Soon we were the one nervous as fuck, waiting for the results. Not me though. I knew we tried our best and I was proud of it. Some of us didn't go in to the VCH to watch the rest of the performance. Instead, we watched the preparation for the NDP. Fireworks were spectacular and I couldn't help thinking of her that time... Finally the results came out... Again some of the band members cried. We got a Silver. It was way above my expectation so I was happy for the band. We're a new band and our choice pieces were grade 4 also (easy for me though). We made some speeches after the results. Edward is a natural leader. So is Alex. They really brought our spirit up by their speeches. Everyone was so dead that day. Except me. She called me because she was at IMM and was going to drop off in front of the school so I can join her. We waited for 506 together. I was feeling super happy that time. Was feeling nervous as well. 506 didn't come for a while so my band mates eventually caught up with me... Most of them saw her. They probably came up with wild conclusions... During the bus ride we were sharing earphones to listen to music so I kinda leaned against her. Wanted to hold her hand, but thats only what boyfriends do right?... I gotta ask Siva quick... Yeah I do like her. But that doesn't mean she'll like me back too... Of course I hope she likes me back... Anyways... Congratz to the band...
I have no luck in my love life... Thats why I've been single all my life. Last time I was a pussy so I didn't seize any opportunity... Won't let my bad habits come back...
SHUT UP. 12:03 AM
Aloha
James Lee Suk Bin Cllaro
"JaMess"
27 January 1990
Seoul, Korea
Korean
Millenia Institute
07S7
Symphonic Band
Wish List
Avatar (DVD Blueray)
Rollerblades
New graphic card/new computer
Left 4 Dead 2
Fear 2: Project Origin
Starcraft 2
